People that need to get the hell off my damn planet, dispatch #1

[halloweenjack]

So this guy sees a woman's picture in the paper and gets an immediate, powerful crush on her. He decides that he has to meet her, no matter what.

Problem is, the picture accompanies her obituary.

Unfortunately, that doesn't stop him...

Comments

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

What amuses the frick and frack out of me is that:

#1 He never seemed to think that she might, y'know, smell bad.
#2 He bought condoms. (Undead pregnancy?)
#3 He didn't buy lube.

[bleakdesolation.livejournal.com]

Now that? Is real fuckin serious!

[starfire68.livejournal.com]

That was...unpleasant :p


Dave's sitting beside me. His reaction was "Wow."

The other stories linked on that page are equally...blech.

[a-nightengale.livejournal.com]

Oh. my. fucking. gawd.

Given that his choice of reproductive act didn't kill him, he's not eligible for a Darwin, but given that it also wouldn't reproduce his genes (and we certainly DON'T want that), I'd say he could qualify for an Honorable Mention -- or would, if he actually did the deed instead of thankfully being caught somewhat beforehand, at least if I read the report correctly.

[mary-mayhem.livejournal.com]

I think I don't need to know how you found that.

[jackolantern.livejournal.com]

Well, it wasn't anything particularly diabolical--it's a link from The Smoking Gun site, the same site that busted James Frey. They usually specialize in embarrassing mug shots and weird things that stars want in their dressing rooms and the like.