How bad is it with Randy Quaid? It's pretty damn bad

He and his wife claim that they're being stalked by a sinister conspiracy called the Star Whackers.

 

Windowless rooms are safer. No cell phones; they can be tracked from space. Only landlines. They stayed in hotels here at first, keeping on the move, but the hotels began calling each other. Doors were closed to the Quaids. One hotel, a five-star palace downtown, granted them entry, but they were put in room 911. "Come on," Evi says. "That was just mean." They've since relocated. "A secret hotel apartment bunker thing," she says.

Whom the Star Whackers would destroy, they first make out-of-control substance abusers; they're currently working on Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen. Their tentacles extend to the Dairy Queen in Marfa, Texas.

I'm not finding this at all funny. It's really sad.